Bond No. 9 - Chez Bond

"Chez Bond." Sexay.

This one goes out to all the guys. Chez Bond is a men's fragrance, but I'm wearing it today anyway. It could be unisex. Personally, I prefer the unisexy men's fragrances. I don't like a fragrance that screams, "I'm a man! Behold my really ripped abs! My masculinely scented body is irresistible to all hot chicks! Yeah, and only the hot ones."

Whatever, dude. You don't know discomfort until you're trapped on a city bus next to a guy doused in man cologne, and you've got a severe hangover.

Most guys' fragrances, particularly the manly-man ones that promise instant chickage, are of the "aquatic" group. I have a hard time wrapping my head around the concept of aquatic/marine fragrances. I mean, water doesn't smell like anything. Where does the smell come from? Seaweed?

Aquatic scents are usually synthetic in origin, actually. The best way to identify them? A blue bottle is usually a red flag, so to speak. A fragrance name like "Mountain Rush" or "Action Rock Climbing" is another clue. If you smell it and think "Sporty!" "Crisp!" "Artificial!" "Xtreme!" or "Ugh!", you've got an aquatic fragrance.

Chez Bond, $105 at Saks, has a bit of aquaticishness, but it's more of a green fragrance that dries down all woody. It smells like a slightly more masculine version of Creed Millesime Imperial, or Imperial Millesime or whatever it is. I think it's the sandalwood that makes it more guy-ish.

Actually, Chez Bond smells like a lot of stuff, which is always a sign that you shouldn't pay $105 for it.

Yeah. Sorry I'm not more specific. Chez Bond is one of those many "pretty good, I guess" scents out there.