Funny, You Don't Smell Cheap

Hello, everybody. I just finished the new Harry Potter, and I'm reading it again to make sure I didn't miss anything. By the way, the "error" on page 485? So not an error. Slughorn never gets Ron's name right. Duh.

That's not really a spoiler, by the way. Also, this is not a spoiler either: One of the new potions smells different to each individual: it smells like whatever their favorite scent is. Oh man, I want to be a wizard perfumer when I grow up. Why am I a Muggle?

By the way, years ago on All That I saw a Harry Potter parody skit which took place in Professor Chafe's Magical Lotions class, and Professor Chafe was always so cranky and mean because his thighs chafed, and he needed to invent a magical lotion to stop the chafing. I tried to find a transcript, but with no luck.

At any rate, with all this reading going on, it's kind of hard to find good things to smell. But here we go anyway:

If you love Prada eau de parfum, but find it too expensive, consider the refill, at $65 for 2.7 oz. Refills are always cheaper; it's just a matter of whether you prefer the nice packaging (or whether the refill is useable without it). Maybe you can find an empty bottle and split some Prada with your best friend. You'll have to work out custody of the cute Prada funnel for yourselves, though.

Also, Shalimar is available for cheap at every TJ Maxx in the universe. It's worth the $14, really. Full review coming soon.

If you're looking for something really cheap, though, check out Herbal Essences' Citrus Lift, at drugstores and Volde-Mart ("The Store That Must Not Be Named"). Smells kinda like a fruity green-tea smoothie.

And there's The Healing Garden's new Organics Wild Honey line. The little tester bottle in the display smells a little like honey, but once you spray it, it really doesn't. But it's still a lovely fragrance that's not too heavy, sultry, loud, overpowering, or cheap-smelling. You know that the "72% Organic" means that the remaining 28% is made out of the hearts of the endangered Bowtied Duckfoot Adoracubby. Also, why is Jewel the spokesperson? Jewel is dumb.

On a whim, I picked up some Axe shower gel in Essence or some such scent. I'm assuming it will help me pick up chicks. Which brings me to...

Exciting Announcement! I'm looking for guys who will help research this so-called "Axe Effect." If you write well, are easily persuaded by cheap advertising, think Maxim is classy, enjoy picking up chicks, and want to become a wildly (or mildly) famous contributor to Diversey Stinks, email me for the chance to participate in an exciting, barely-scientific study! No, don't comment. Email. Email.