Thierry Mugler - Angel

Okay, so within the past week, I've compared two fragrances (Flowerbomb and Prada) to Angel, so it just makes sense that I go ahead and give you a review of Angel. Or, more accurately, an amateurish essay that should be titled "Why I Regret Spending $50 on Angel At Filene's Basement."

To be clear, I've got nothing against Filene's Basement. I love Filene's. I got an awesome sweater for like four bucks there once. And I have absolutely nothing against perfumes bought at Filene's, unless they have the words "Beverly Hills" in the name. I did save a good chunk of money on Angel, but, well, if I had known then what I know now, I'd be fifty bucks richer.

So... Angel. The original. Before this Innocent and Garden of Stars nonsense. Honestly, I don't even know how many iterations of Angel they've got out there, since Thierry Mugler changes the bottle design every couple of years. I betcha there's some dumb rich lady out there with all the different bottles, and she doesn't realize they all have the same perfume inside.

Anyway, when it first came out, years and years ago, every fashion magazine in the universe went nuts over it, and it was supposed to smell all chocolatey and warm and comforting yet exciting, and so on, and I'd try it on at the department store and think, "What's the big deal?"

Then, about a year or so ago, I borrowed a little bit of someone's Angel-scented hair/face mask, and it was divine. The mask has been discontinued, I'm assuming, but you can get it for cheap at Scentiments. And it's really more of a body butter-type cream than a face mask. I'm sorry, it's wonderful, but I'm not stuffing that in my T-zone.

Spurred on by the warm, creamy deliciousness of the face mask, I looked for an inexpensive bottle of the eau de parfum, which brought me to Filene's.

It smells barftastic on me. It's the closest thing to a migraine I've ever had. And it's so strong, one spray could beat me in an arm-wrestling match.

However! If I use it as a room spray, it smells amazing; if I use it as a linen spray, it smells amazing; if I spray it on the outside of the sweater I'm wearing, I smell amazing. It just doesn't work with my skin.

Use caution with this stuff, I'm warning you. Fools rush in where angels fear to tread and so on.

If Angel doesn't work with your body chemistry, I'd recommend Prada, which is better anyway. Victoria's Secret made a scent called Secret 33 which smelled similar to Angel, but was lighter and more wearable. It's pretty good; check Ebay. The Henri Bendel Tonka Bean candle at Bath and Body Works smells a lot like Angel, too, but they'll probably discontinue that as well.

But if you insist on having a bottle of Angel, even if it makes you smell like dead chocolate, hecko, I'll give you mine. Take it, and don't come near me ever again.